ep. 31 | Community over Competition with Jamie Ivey
On this episode of the Journeywomen podcast I chatted with one of my own favorite podcasters, Jamie Ivey, about supporting and encouraging other women. Though I’m sure you probably know her, Jamie is a wife, mother of 4, blogger, podcaster, and author. She hosts one of my go-to podcasts called “The Happy Hour” and is releasing a book in January of 2018 titled "If Only You Knew: My Unlikely, Unavoidable Story of Becoming Free." Through her podcast, Jamie cheers other women on in a way that encourages them to do what they do with excellence for the glory of God! We chatted about everything from our own struggle with comparison to how the Gospel enables us to freely celebrate what God is doing in the lives of our sisters in Christ.
You guys, when I started brainstorming guests and topics for the Journeywomen podcast it was a dream of mine to chat with Jamie Ivey. I’ve been listening to her podcast, The Happy Hour, for years. Her willingness to come on my show was yet another reflection of her kindness and her support for other women in ministry. I walked away from my conversation with Jamie encouraged to communicate value and care to other women who are on their journeys to glorify God in whatever He’s set before them. I hope ya’ll find our chat as inspiring as I did!
- When I think Jamie Ivey, I think ‘encourager’ or ‘cheerleader’. Is that something that comes naturally to you or is it a skill you developed?
- What makes someone a good cheerleader and encourager of others?
- What’s the beauty of stepping outside of ourselves and encouraging someone instead of comparing ourselves to them? How does it build up the body?
- How do you cheer friends toward holiness?
- What enables us to encourage and support others as they pursue their dreams and goals?
- What gets in the way of being able to really encourage and cheer one another on?
- Have you ever struggled with comparison or competition with others? What did that look like?
- When are we, as women, most subject to comparison? How can we fight against it?
- What’s the danger in measuring ourselves up against one another? How is it destructive to the body of Christ/community?
- How do you fight comparison against others who are in the same line of work, like speaking, writing, and podcasting?
- What does it look like for you practically, considering the reality that you actually have to consider your numbers for advertisements and other things like that for your business?
3 Questions I Ask Every Guest
- What are 3 resources you'd recommend for someone wanting to grow as an encourager/cheerleader?
- What are your 3 simple joys?
- Who has had the greatest impact on your journey with Jesus?
Note Worthy Quotes
“A good cheerleader is a good listener. When you hear the word cheerleader, your initial thought involves someone talking a lot, yelling a lot, and telling people to follow their dreams. There is a lot of that involved when you’re a cheerleader for those around you, but I think one of the greatest assets of a true cheerleader is to be a really good listener. To be able to really listen to someone--their highs and their lows, what they’re dreaming about and where they’re going, and then to be able to gather those thoughts and cheer them on--that’s what makes a good cheerleader. A lot of times we don’t want to listen to what other people are doing because we are so self-focused on what we’re doing.”
“Cheerleading is valuing someone’s dreams and passions as much as you value your own.”
“I don’t think there’s a magic formula for encouraging others. I think it comes down to, ‘Do I really care about those around me and what they’re doing?’”
“Encouraging others is taking your time, listening to people, and thinking through how you can come alongside them and support them. And that looks different in different seasons of our lives.”
“If you’re a woman and you’re thinking, ‘I don’t have time to cheer on anyone else, I’m just trying to chase my own dream,’ I want to encourage you that it’s going to be easier to chase your own dream when you’re running with other people.”
“In my life right now, I have some pretty close girlfriends who I have a thing with where we can lay it all out on the table--the good, the bad, the ugly, the shameful--we can lay it all out there and our goal at the end is to point one another back to Jesus.”
“What you need from your girlfriends isn’t just someone who will look at you and say, ‘You got this! Pour yourself a glass of wine. It’ll be okay. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you can do this!’ Those are some cool phrases that hold some validity at some point in our lives, but I also want to point my girlfriends to the cross and point them to Jesus… If all I hear is encouragement like, ‘Ah, tomorrow’s a new day! You got this!’ then we’ve really missed out on an opportunity to point our friends to Jesus and to really encourage them with the Gospel.”
“Something that gets in the way of cheering one another on is ourselves… Our own selfishness, our jealousy, our pride, things that we all struggle with.”
“Ask yourself, ‘What are the things that I can do in my season to cheer others on around me in this stage of life?’ It will look differently for each of us.”
“My friends are going to point me to Jesus. If they don’t point me to Jesus, what are we doing here?”
“When are we not most subject to comparison? It’s coming at us from everywhere. Whether that is on Instagram, which is my favorite social media median and I love it, but I’m also very aware that I only show you what I want you to see. For example, my daughter is hilarious, but I don’t show you when she rolls her eyes at me or when she throws a fit, you know what I mean? I think comparison is just coming at us from everywhere. As women and as believers we need to acknowledge it and fight it. I’m a big believer in fighting things, because I think when we let go, lay down, and just take it, that’s when we lose the battle. There’s nothing wrong with fighting a battle. Fighting a battle means you’re in it… Say the things you’re struggling with out loud… We need to acknowledge those struggles ourselves and acknowledge them to our girlfriends.”
“The greatest way to keep comparison at bay is to verbally process it with someone who loves you, trusts you, and believes in you.”
“When you start pursuing a dream, define what success means for you early on… Numbers are going to grow, books will sell or not sell, advertisers will come or leave, whatever it might be, but define success super early and let that be the baseline of everything. Every show at the Happy Hour is a success if we have encouraged women, if we have inspired them, and if we have pointed them to Jesus. If those three things happen, that’s what makes a successful show.”
Work with kids and ask yourself how you can do that in other areas of your life too
Find people who are ahead of you in marriage that you admire and invite yourself over to their house. Ask them to hang out.
Jamie’s Podcast The Happy Hour (recommended by Hunter)
JAMIE'S SIMPLE JOYS
Watching her pets play outside. (Jamie caveated that she’s not a freaky animal lover, but watching them play outside makes her happy.)
Her kid’s 6th grade band concert. She said it’s the worst thing she’s ever heard, but she was so proud!
Spending time together as a family.
CONNECT WITH JAMIE
Through daily devotions, vulnerable storytelling and biblical truths, Because I’m His is a community of women rooted in their Biblical identities and walking in the fullness of that reality. After her own season of anxiety and panic, Diana Carter founded Because I'm His as a way to speak back to the lies attacking her identity with the truth of who she is in Christ. Those biblical truths are exactly what she posts on Because I’m His and that’s why I love following her stuff @becauseimhis on Instagram and on their website at becauseimhis.com. The truths posted on Because I’m His are such a helpful and beautiful way to remember our identity in Christ. I love seeing pictures paired with truth as I scroll through my Instagram feed as a way to remember and not forget who I am because of what Christ has done. Follow @becauseimhis on Instagram and check out their website at becauseimhis.com.
If you’ve been around Journeywomen for awhile, I know you’ve heard me talk about how much camp has impacted my own life. Because of that, I want to tell you about T Bar M camps located in New Braunfels, TX. You’ve probably heard of T Bar M for their incredible summer camps, but did you know that you can retreat with them year round? If you have a group that needs to retreat, T Bar M is definitely the place to go. I’ve been there for my own personal retreat and ya’ll, it is BEAUTIFUL! It’s the perfect place to inspire your people to laugh, play and enjoy life together at a family camp or reunion. Right now, T Bar M is partnering with Journeywomen to help you retreat well! Visit tbarm.org/journeywomen and get a free ebook on the value of retreating, along with 15% off your first retreat experience! Follow them on Instagram or Facebook.
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