ep. 101 Sexual Brokenness

Ellen Dykas

ep. 101 | Sexual Brokenness with Ellen Dykas

On today’s episode of the Journeywomen podcast, we’re chatting with Ellen Dykas about sexual brokenness. This is a sensitive topic and Ellen, the Women’s Ministry Coordinator at Harvest USA, did such a beautiful job encouraging us with the hope of the gospel. Ellen Dykas received her MA in Biblical and Theological studies at Covenant Theological Seminary, Creve Coeur, MO. She also received a Graduate Certificate in Biblical Counseling from the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF). Ellen delights in teaching God’s Word and coming alongside women in their spiritual journey.

  1. Can you tell us a little about who you are and what you do?

  2. What does it mean to be relationally and/or sexually broken?

  3. God’s design for sexuality is radically different than it is in culture, and even from what many Christians are living out today. Why do so many Christians struggle to obey God in their sex lives?

  4. Is sexual desire negative? What is God’s design for our sexuality and what is it meant to reflect?

  5. What are ways we seek sexual pleasure and emotional comfort outside of God’s boundaries?

  6. How does the gospel redeem our sexual brokenness?

  7. How do we live in light of redemption even though we are still experiencing temptation and we still wrestle with our flesh on this side of heaven?

  8. How did Jesus address sexual sin and brokenness?

  9. What should our response be when we find ourselves walking in sexual sin?

  10. How can we come alongside one another as sisters in Christ and encourage each other to live in light of redemption when it comes to our sexuality?

THREE QUESTIONS I ASK EVERY GUEST

  1. Do you have any resources you’d recommend for those of us who want to grow in this area?

  2. What are your 3 simple joys?

  3. Who has had the greatest impact on your own journey with Jesus?

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

“Brokenness is in one way how sin has impacted every part of who we are. Living in a broken state (relationally, sexually) means we are living or experiencing this part of our humanity not according to God’s good design, his loving design.” 

Sin has broken or corrupted every part of who we are: our bodies, our desires, our minds, our thought lives, our motivations. That’s the aspect of how prevalent and far reaching the fall (sin) has gone into every aspect of who we are.”

“God’s design for all aspects of our life, of our being, is that we would give glory to him through loving obedience and trust of him. That is going to mean living under his loving lordship.”

“God’s design is that any sexual expression would happen only in the context of marriage, which from Genesis to Revelation is designed as one man and one woman in a life-long, covenant union.”

“For a husband and wife, because of their devotion to Christ, sexual intimacy is meant to be an experience of selflessly loving the other.” 

“It’s impossible to live a sexually faithful life without the Holy Spirit.”

“Unbelief is the number one driver in our sin struggles - we don’t believe what God says. We want to do what we want to do.”

“Sexual desires are not evil.”

There is no shame but invitation to come to Christ.”

“Jesus sees you and is tender towards you.” 

“In ministry to women in need of help, ask what steps you might take to create an atmosphere that welcomes women to come into the light to ask for help.”

“The gospel is Jesus and what he has done for us.”

“In God’s sovereignty, he’s highlighting sexual brokenness through women, through the person of Jesus who sees them, engages them relationally, speaks to them, and speaks words of hope, forgiveness, and peace over them. That’s how the gospel not only addresses sexual brokenness, but enters in to bring transformation and freedom and healing.”

“Christ wants to do a work in every aspect of who we are.”

“If there is ongoing, lingering residue in our present because of things in the past, those are areas Christ is inviting us to bring to him for a full experience of redemption and healing and transformation.”

While all sinful desires and inclinations rise from our sin nature, there is a distinction between pursuing and acting upon sinful desires and temptation rising up in you.” 

“Temptation is something that by the power of the Holy Spirit, I can respond to with obedience or disobedience.” 

“Put on the Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 13:14). Some of the best ways to flee sexual temptation is to be all about what the Lord has for you, that means pursuing Jesus.”

“Your hope is found in Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Your hope is that God is who he says he is. Jesus really can do what he said in Luke 4. Hope in God gives us the willingness to trust in the Lord and to act on that trust through turning away from temptation and fleeing sin that’s in our life.” 

“We have a God who not only offers hopeful things but who is hope.”

RESOURCES

Your Dating Relationship and Your Sexual Past by Ellen Dykas

Sexual Sanity for Women by Ellen Dykas

Sexual Sanity for Men by David White

God, You, & Sex: A Profound Mystery by David White 

Leslie Vernick Website

Openness Unhindered by Rosaria Butterfield 

False Intimacy by Dr. Harry Schaumburg

On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Mandt Langberg

Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul Tripp

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES

Luke 4

Psalm 84:11

Psalm 139:23-24

Romans 13:14 

Colossians 1:27

Romans 15:13

CONNECT WITH ELLEN


DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1. What is brokenness and what does that look like in regard to our sexuality?

  2. How does the gospel redeem our brokenness?

  3. What should our response be when we find ourselves walking in sexual sin?

  4. How can you come alongside your sisters in Christ to encourage them to live in light of redemption when it comes to our sexuality?

  5. How do we live with hope while still experiencing temptation and wrestling with our flesh on this side of heaven?

  6. What are you going to do or implement as a result of what you’ve learned this week?

SCRIPTURE MEMORY

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” Psalm 139:23-24


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