ep. 16 | Sibling Relationships with Hayden Langemeier
On today’s episode of the Journeywomen podcast I’m interviewing Hayden Langemeier.
Hayden is a senior at the University of Arkansas studying Communication with a minor in Recreation and Sports Management. She is passionate about challenging culture that is second nature with the goal of producing a more authentic, selfless, and submitted generation of believers.
The goal of building and maintaining healthy relationships with our families is to point people to Jesus by the way we love one another. I know some of you have broken families and some of you have experienced really unhealthy family dynamics. That’s exactly why I asked Hayden to share her experience with us today. While most of what we discuss is method based, it’s an invaluable opportunity for us to catch a glimpse into what it looks like to grow up in a home with the aim of glorifying God together. I hope you’ll walk away encouraged to build relationships with your close people, whether they’re your biological family, adopted family, or your sisters and brothers in Christ.
I wasn’t expecting a conversation on family dynamics to disciple me in the ways of human communication but it DID! I loved Hayden’s encouragement to be diligent in the little things, especially in our interactions with our close people. If you’d like to connect with Hayden you can find her information below.
Be sure to subscribe to the Journeywomen podcast on iTunes and while you’re there, leave us a review! Thanks again for listening. I’ll see you here next Monday!
Tell me who you are and what you’re doing now.
Let’s chat about your family. Are you guys close?
Have you always had close relationship with your parents/siblings?
From your perspective, what did your parents do to cultivate a healthy relationship with you? What about your siblings?
What are some things your parents did/modeled that you want to do when you have a family of your own?
Are there any specific behaviors or dynamics that you’ve seen modeled, whether it be in your own family or a friend’s, that will inhibit healthy, close family relationships?
My friends and I have noticed that mother/daughter relationships can be particularly tricky. What do you feel like your mom did really well when it came to your relationship? Now that you’re an adult, what do boundaries look like for ya’ll?
Now that you’re in college, has your relationship with your parents changed at all?
How about your siblings? How do ya’ll maintain closeness even though you’re separated in proximity?
What are some things that your parents did during your upbringing that you attribute to your success?
3 Questions I Ask Every Guest
What 3 resources would you recommend for someone wanting to develop their relationships with their siblings or parents?
What are 3 of your simple joys?
Who has had the biggest influence on your own journey with Jesus?
Note Worthy Quotes
“In everything they did, they cultivated togetherness.”
“A lot of times for our discipline past the age of seven we actually did work around our house. We would work for 30 minutes cleaning baseboards or pulling weeds or whatever mom said. It took work off their hands and produced a harder work ethic within us and also provided us an opportunity to work together.”
“They really taught us how to have relationships through modeling it and through communicating about how to communicate, for example, how to have conflict. If I was having conflict with my sister my mom would coach me on the basics of conflict by saying, “Okay, you’re mad at your sister. You need to approach her at a time of non conflict and prepare her heart by saying, ‘Hey, I have something I need to talk to you about in a few hours.’” They taught us how to have conflict and how to encourage one another. Healthy, basic communication skills that are super simple but that we often forget in our relationships.”
“We saw them reconcile as well as fight. And that’s probably the most important part. Seeing reconciliation happen in conjunction with healthy conflict.”
“I’d say first of all healthy reconciliation looked like either owning my side of the problem or seeing both of my parents own their sides of the problem.”
“Always seek to be the first one to apologize. It takes two people to fight. There’s always something you can find that is your fault.”
“You have to learn to wake up, look over at each other, and choose to love each other every single day—choose to serve one another when we don’t feel like it—and choose not speak poorly about one another to our parents, siblings, or best friends.”
“We want people to understand us for our intentions, but other people take us at surface level and don’t always understand our intentions. A lot of times this leads us to the root of conflict in our communication.”
“Be diligent in pursuing intimacy in the little things.”
“My parents were really diligent in the small things, including discipline and behavior. I know for me personally, even though they were really diligent, they were the most grace giving about the big things. Secondly, everything was a conversation. That cultivated intimacy because I didn’t see my parents as the bad guy. They were always seeking to explain things from a logical and spiritual perspective.”
“They did really hard work for 18 years and then said, ‘Go.’”
“My recommendation for developing better relationships with your parents or your siblings is to serve them. Serving even when I don’t want to has been the most powerful tool for strengthening any relationship.”
Serving Your Family
Hayden's Simple Joys
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